You guys remember that screamo band, Grade (like, circa ’99)? I think your friend Matt was into them. Anyway, if you don’t know Grade, don’t bother, but this one came on iTunes while I was emo-painting and I was taken back to high school. YEAH MAN, LIKE, I SO IDENTIFY TO THAT.

“This is a time in my life where everything is falling apart,
and at the same time it’s all coming together.”
— Grade; A Year in the Past, Forever in the Future

And here’s a video I saw today from Knife Party that’s good in visuals and in theory:

Coalition Of The Willing from coalitionfilm on Vimeo.

http://coalitionofthewilling.org.uk/

I started smoking when I moved to LA. I don’t know why I thought that would be a good idea, but after a year of indulging in this disgusting habit I’ve really had enough.

I haven’t smoked in a week. My lungs already feel clearer and my sense of smell more acute.

Here is a reminder of how it makes me feel to enjoy a cigarette.

A YEAR IN THE LIFE OF J2F

*Note: the left / right arrows on your keyboard will move you to the next picture

Refer to picture # if you wanna say something. Comments are fun.

We went on a date later that week at a restaurant I couldn’t afford in Boston’s South End. After about 20 minutes of listening to him gloat about his chef job and other superficial BS I couldn’t converse with, it was clear that his good looks and our musical compatibility was not going to be enough to get us through this dinner.

So instead of smiling and nodding through a free dinner, I did what most people would not; I started telling him all kinds of extremely personal stories.

I found it entertaining to watch someone get so uncomfortable with me talking about the most emotionally real moments in my life. I pried inside his Mr. cool-guy walls too and along with some nervous laughter I was able to get some semi-sentimental, stammering explanations out of him. I hope there to be a real person hiding inside of every douche bag. We cleaned our plates, split the check (dammit), shook hands, and said goodnight. I was certain from the 20 minute mark that this would be the last time I ever saw him, so whether I left him completely freaked out or a little more introspective, at least something real had happened.

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This story reminds me of part of a conversation I documented on an airplane (around the same time as the date) with a kid from Tennessee I also never saw again. My question was basically whether it was reckless to burden a specific uncomfortable situation with honest feelings or to just play it cool. I’ve thought of this thing he said so many times and never called him to say so. I’ll leave the digits in the doodle in case anybody wants to call and say hi. Let me know if it’s still in service.